love shmove

u are alcohol and I am intoxicated

seriousjones:

gluten free person: excuse me, but do you have any gf options?

me:

image

(via spookykatzen)

queerhawkeye:

there is no one expecting dick to taste good though. i’ve never ever once met a cis dude paranoid about his genitals tasting weird or salty or sweaty or whatever. but of course pussy has to taste like fruit and whatever. OF COURSE. 

(via thechamberofsecrets)

queerbaitingforgodot:

[guesses correct password for old account] nice, ive hacked it

(via lasagnanipples)

bewbin:

LISTEN TO THIS RIGHT NOW

(Source: rock-lee, via foodchewer)

terapsina:

Someone needs to write a fic of a battalion of superheroes randomly showing up at Sam’s doorstep because they have nowhere else to go.

"Hey Sam… so Pepper threw me out of my house and Rhodey’s on vacation in Mexico."

"Steve has spoken much of you Son of Wil. Do you wish to do battle against my adopted brother?"

"So… show an archer these wings I’ve heard so much about."

"HULK. HUNGRY."

And Sam cursing Steve and Natasha in the depths of his soul because they started the trend and then told all their friends about it.

(Source: imaginaryfriendsarecool, via imatickingtimebomb)

me:*on my phone*
grandma:do you ever put that thing down?
me:*puts phone down*
me:why did you ruin the economy?

ghirahimu:

reblogging this again just to say: if you havent seen this yet you really need to

(Source: cyberneticpredacat, via captain-jackdaniels)

(via mysteriouslesbian)

(Source: h0pefulkid-withaninkedupheart, via celtysturlusonisaqueen)

I want you. I want to throw you against a wall, wrap your legs around my waist and kiss you. Kiss you until we have to stop to catch our breaths. I want you and only you. I want to take you on road trips that lead us to pulling over on the side of the road because we can’t keep our hands off each other. I want you and your flaws. I want your messy makeup from teary eyes as I hold you and talk to you about life. I want the 3am phone calls because you can’t sleep at night. I want to be yours and only yours. I want to taste all your cooking, even if it’s not good, even if it’s experimenting I’d have you cook every meal for the rest of my life. I want you. I want my trembling hands to grab your waist and dance with you in the middle of an empty room. I want to struggle on days when I can’t see you. I want to fight about meaningless stuff that will lead to meaningful sex. I want you. I want your hand to rest on my forearm as we enter a party, so I can reassure you that you are safe with me. I want to sing to you in the shower and have you shut me up with kisses because we both know I’m no singer. I want the ups and downs, the winter and summer days. I want you and only you…
TotallyLayouts has Tumblr Themes, Twitter Backgrounds, Facebook Covers, Tumblr Music Player and Tumblr Follower Counter